Biscuit Barks Back!

“Hey everyone, its me Biscuit. Whats up?”

I thought I’d take this chance to get in my two cents worth and offer a few observations on living with my adopted room mates. The big tall guy is named Keith and the little redhead is Mag (aka Little Sis)….at least those are the two words that keep coming up and I finally figured out the connection. They treat me pretty well but I do have a few things I’d like to get off my chest. So buckle up and lets go!

Just Walking the Dog

I don’t want to sound like a whiner but Covid has really busted my butt. In the beginning of the first lock down I got to go on walks all the time, mostly because K and M didn’t have anything better to do, and those walks were awesome!

We would walk along the dike, all the way to Steveston and I could sniff to my heart’s content. Its a dog sniffing paradise and the best part was K and M were in no hurry. Sometimes they would take hours just meandering and enjoying the scenery while I sniffed. It was such fun and I was getting in great shape.

Even better though was when we stopped for lunch. I always got to have fries….but not too many (trying to keep my girlish figure) and because I am so cute, I got lots of attention. Aahhh, good times my friends.

Sadly, this doesn’t happen anymore. Oh they still take me on walks, but only so I can do my business, and I had better be quick about it. Why is that you ask? Well, I understand if its raining or cold, but mainly I blame that cursed game of football. They bought a special NFL TV package and it has ruined my life.

Sundays are the worst. It is non stop football and if the Steelers are playing well, I am pretty much ignored. (Yes, I know the days of the week, the months of the year and I can do simple addition and subtraction, thank you very much!) Anyway, when the games are on, I just spend the day lounging on the couch, and getting the occasional treat tossed my way. Needless to say my once proud figure is a bit “roly poly” now, not to mention the toll on my mental health. I dream at night of better days when football season is over, the weather is much nicer and Covid is a distant memory. Wait, is this dog abuse? Can I sue?

The Joy of the Open Road

I love to go in the car. I get to sit in the front seat and with the radio blasting, I’m rockin’ it! There is so much to see, and sometimes I just get so excited I can’t sit still. Whoever is driving usually gets mad at me and I do feel sort of bad, but not for long. When we stop at a light I check to see if there is a dog in the car next to us. If there is, I’m cool. They get a head nod, and a high paw then I just look straight ahead and ignore them. I have my standards.

The only thing I don’t like about car rides, is that I never know where I am going until I get there, because they never tell me. I could be going anywhere and I think its only common courtesy that they give me a clue. I’m usually pretty relaxed about it, but you never know when they are going to pull a fast one and take me to the Vet. I know the route and if I sense we’re heading there I start to shake uncontrollably. This makes them feel kind of guilty, which is exactly what I want. Nothing good ever happens at the Vet.

I have to admit there are good times too. Recently they took me on holiday to my favourite place in the whole wide world, Rockaway Beach in Oregon….nothing but miles and miles of beach to run on, and stinky stuff to roll in. Its doggie heaven…..I’ll give them that.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

This is maybe my biggest beef. When I moved in I thought I would be treated with the respect I deserve. A bed is an indicator of ones status in the chain of command. Its a refuge in times of trouble and a retreat when you sense that you’re, pardon the pun, in the “dog house.” So naturally I staked out what looked to be the most comfortable bed and one fitting for someone of my stature.

**Ahhh… My happy place, until they find me**

It seems K and M had ideas of their own and I was relegated to a much smaller place to lay my weary head.

**I’m literally forced to lie on the hard floor**

After investigating every corner of the house, I noted that there are two perfectly good couches in the living room. So I decided to push back and claim them as my territory.

We are now engaged in a silent never ending war. They put blankets and pillows on the couch and as an act of defiance I knock them off to make room for myself. Its kind of fun. Hey, I’m a dog. What do you expect?

So keep on rolling with it Doggie Dudes. It truly is a dog’s life but FYI, if things don’t improve I’ll have to seriously consider a call to the SPCA. I mean who is running this show? Them or me?