The Eyes Have It

For a person my age, I think I’ve been pretty lucky in the health department. Low thyroid, high blood pressure, the odd memory lapse and an arthritic hip, but that’s about it. For the last few years though, my Optometrist has been telling me I’m going to need cataract surgery soon. Well, it seems soon has arrived.

Easy Peasy?

I was not really worried about having cataract surgery. I’d heard from friends and family that it was a quick, relatively painless, straight forward procedure and really nothing to lose sleep over. And the fact that I may not have to wear glasses afterwards was a huge bonus. I was excited and ready to go!

However, shortly into my first pre-surgical visit, the light bulb went on. Yes, this was a very common, straightforward procedure, but all in all it was going to be a six week affair involving, among other things, eyedrops (so many eyedrops), an eye patch and doing squats. But more about this later.

Get Ready

One of the things I noticed when I first went to my Ophthalmologist’s office was that he had a lot of staff. To a person they were friendly, helpful and supportive but I did wonder why so many people. It didn’t take long before I understood that, at least part of the reason was the paperwork. Oh the paperwork! I left that appointment with brochures, consent forms, charts and pages and pages of information and directions.

I do have to admit, I came home after this appointment a little bit offended by how painstakingly they reviewed everything in detail, item by item. I mean, do I really need a chart to track my eyedrops and a full page illustration for how to do them? And do I really need to be told to NOT arrive early for my surgery appointment when it is scheduled for 7 am ? Turns out the answer is a resounding yes.

Go Time

When describing the day of the surgery to me, the nurse used what I thought was very curious language, saying to “walk through the door at 7 am.” We quickly discovered why when we arrived and discovered that the hospital doors open at exactly 7 am and not a moment sooner.

Once inside it was a very smooth process with volunteers, nurses and other staff moving you smoothly and efficiently through the process and along to the holding room before surgery. Here you receive many, many, many eyedrops and medication to calm your nerves. As there are several people scheduled for this surgery, while waiting there was some chatting amongst we patients. One woman in particular, who I can only assume reacted quite strongly to the medication, started sharing random helpful hints including the suggestion to add hair conditioner to your hand lotion if you have really dry skin. Hmmm….

At this point the Anaesthetist came in and reviewed what was going to happen during the surgery. I found this very reassuring until he said I was going to see a very bright light and to just keep looking at it. This for some reason made me think of people who describe seeing a bright light as part of a near death experience. And so when he said I could have a little more sedation if I wanted, I quickly replied in the affirmative.

This decision also proved fortuitous when I was told, just before the start of the surgery, about the dire consequences if I should cough or sneeze during the surgery. Under normal circumstances this comment would lead me to question the wisdom of having the surgery at all and put me into fight or flight mode, but thanks to the medication I didn’t bat an eye (or sneeze or cough ).😂

I’m told the procedure lasted about eight minutes in total. It seemed much quicker than that (thank you sedation). I don’t remember much other than feeling a bit of pressure and some liquid being washed in my eye and, after the requisite recovery period, I was handed over to my husband for the drive home. After a checkup the next day we were on our own for two weeks until we did it all over again for the second eye.

Drop, Drop, and Squat

As I recover, it feels like eyedrops have taken over my life: four times a day, two different drops in different rotations. As of this writing I have done just over 200 eyedrops and that doesn’t count all the drops that landed on my cheek or nose or eyebrow. It s a good thing that the Pharmacist gave me extra refills, as right now I think I’m running at about 50% accuracy. I still have a few weeks to go with the drops so I’m aiming to get to 70%😂 And I do have to admit that, the eyedrop chart I treated with such disdain before all this, has actually proven invaluable.

Now, if they could only do something about the eye patch that you have to wear for three nights. I understand, intellectually, the need for it to protect the eye from any inadvertent rubbing or scratching while you sleep. But I really do think compliance might improve if they moved to a more “piratey” look for the patch instead of the hulking hard plastic affair that leaves you looking like you slept on your face. It might also mean you can actually sleep for those three nights. I may run this idea by my Optometrist at the next visit.

And a surprising thing coming out of this surgery is that my glutes are getting stronger by the day. This is because you are not supposed to bend over with your head lower than your heart for at least two weeks, so enter squatting as an alternative. And with how many times a day you find yourself reaching down to the floor to do something, those glutes are getting a great work out. Watch out Kim Kardashian, here I come!

Along a similar line, you are advised not to do any strenuous activity. I’ve managed to convince my husband that housework falls into this category and so he has done yeoman’s duty in picking up the slack. This has also had the added benefit of convincing my husband that a cleaning lady would be a good idea.

I Can See Clearly Now

Almost immediately after the surgery on my second eye, I could see in the distance quite clearly without my glasses. Close up was another matter. I had been advised that I may need reading glasses at least temporarily and so after a night of holding things at arms length to try and see them, off I went and got some reading glasses. Problem solved for now.

As the days go by I am starting to wonder if I am going to end up having to wear glasses, at least some of the time. In pondering this I realized that there are some benefits to wearing glasses that I hadn’t really entertained before. All those crow’s feet, under eye circles and sparse eyebrows are camouflaged by wearing glasses. And think of all the money saved on eye cream. But the best thought came from Big Sis who said that glasses make you look smarter. And who doesn’t want to look smarter? So I guess if I do end up having to continue wearing glasses, I’ll be “smart” about it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some eyedrops to put in.

We plan on doing a new blog post every Monday so stay tuned for our next one entitled “Saturdays With the Sisterhood”