Punching Above my Weight

The other day I had to go into work, and instead of taking the elevator I took the stairs. It was not long before I realized I was huffin’ and puffin’, and believe you me, there was no way I could blow someone’s house down.

Clearly I was out of shape, and it slowly dawned on me that I had to do something about it. I was particularly concerned because the Sisterhood is committed to a 5K walk in Montreal in a few weeks. At this rate, both Big and Middle would surely put me to shame, and the humiliation would be excruciating.

After a few days of thinking about this and in my infinite wisdom, I decided to teach myself how to box. Not just to get in shape, but I really like to punch things, and what better way to release some frustration than to hit a punching bag? It’s definitely a win-win.

Where to Start?

Yes indeed, where to start? This was kind of a silly question. The answer to most questions like this is, on the Internet of course. So, I went online and there were a million boxing videos to choose from. It was overwhelming but I was able to narrow them down to the ones that were more fitness oriented rather than actual training for a match. For some strange reason I couldn’t see myself in the ring with a six foot, tattooed opponent.

I settled on one video that was really very helpful, and used that as my guide. (I forgot to mention I already had a Reflex Punching Bag from days gone by that previously served more as a coat rack rather than a useful training tool.) I dusted that off, and then started looking for my boxing gloves. (Yes, I also had a pair of those somewhere in the house.) After about an hour of searching I found them, put them on, and away I went.

I took it slow at first: right hand, left hand, and I got into a rhythm. I began to speed up, and that was where I made a colossal mistake. I forgot that punching bags are on a spring and if you miss a punch, well you get hit in the face. Ouch! Lesson learned.

Just Call Me Tangle Foot

Not only is being able to punch, a necessary skill when it comes to boxing, but you also have to be able to move your feet, and have some cardio endurance. Back to Google I went, and found out that jumping rope is a great way to get your feet moving, as well as work on your cardio.

I found my jump rope, (my house is a cornucopia of abandoned equipment), and oddly enough it was covered in dust as well. I hesitated as memories of previous skipping workouts flashed through my mind. Did I really want to do this?

While I debated on the possibility of a potential fatality if I chose to skip, I decided to rearrange the furniture, so I could swing my rope without hitting anything. That used up a good half hour, but eventually, I had to give in and “just do it.”

Once again I started off slow, but eventually decided to speed up. I realized at this point, any coordination I may have had in younger years, had completely abandoned me. I was not coordinated at all. Jumping rope is quite simply a skill I don’t have. I got my feet tangled up so many times, I was afraid I was going to be snarled up in that rope forever. The final straw came when I managed to get my feet so entangled, I fell onto the couch. Not only that, my lungs were on fire!

Apparently,This isn’t For Me

As I lay on the couch, I was actually quite proud of myself. I had trained for at least an hour! Then I snuck a peek at my watch and realized it had only been about 20 minutes. Even though I had visions of lagging far behind Big and Middle Sis in Montreal, I decided to hang up the gloves, and put away my punching bag and jump rope. This was just not for me. Sadly, I came to terms with not having the coordination, or cardio endurance to do this.

Obviously, I needed to find a less complicated, and dangerous way to get in shape. So, I grabbed my bag of popcorn, and a can of soda and sat down in front of the TV. Thinking about ways to get in shape, I fell asleep and I’m pretty sure I had a nightmare about walking a 5k in Montreal.😮 I guess I really was punching above my weight!

We do a post every Monday so stay tuned for the next one entitled “Bonjour Montreal, Here We Come!”