Destination Unknown

Hi folks, Biscuit here. Just wanted to remind you that a dog’s life can be pretty boring. You know, the usual: wake up, wander around the house, eat breakfast, have a nap, wander some more, have a nap…..you get the picture. Every once in a while though, my humans pull a fast one on me, and break up my well established routine. Let me tell you, it can be pretty traumatic.

As you all know, whenever I get in the car I never know where I am going. Sometimes its fun places and sometimes, well, not so much. Frankly, I don’t really care. I’m just happy to breathe outside air and enjoy the pleasures of a good car ride…. that’s how I roll!

But I digress. Recently on a beautiful sunny day, I had just concluded my second nap of the day when I heard the sound of my leash being taken off its hook. Something was up and I’m thinking this is going to be awesome. Dog park here we come! So I put on my game face and raced to the front door, ready for adventure!

And it started out just as I hoped it would…. I was doing fine. I was checking out the sights, high fiving my homies, and grooving to the music. The window was down, my ears were blowing in the breeze and life was soooo good!

Of course, it was too good to be true….. you can see where this is going, right? You guessed it. The car stopped and there in front of us was the dreaded Vet’s office. I knew it! All that cheerful “Come on Biscuit, come on girl, let’s go for a ride,” was a cruel trick. Never trust a human!

I decided to put up some resistance and make a scene but it was futile. My humans weren’t going to give in. At least I managed to embarrass them by dragging my butt and howling and barking. Although my concept of time is related primarily to the wait between meals, I estimate it took at least five minutes to make it from the car to the office door. Then I managed to make noise for approximately another five before I was too exhausted to fight any more. I acknowledged defeat and quietly lay on the floor, hoping for some sympathy and perhaps a reprieve…..no such luck.

As you know, I’m a sucker for treats, and when all I had to do to get one was hop on the scale, I meekly complied. Besides, it was an opportunity to catch myself in the mirror. I’m thinking to myself, damn I look good. Yup, I’ve still got it, even though my exercise routine hasn’t been very consistent lately. (Hopefully that will change now that football season is over.)

Then things took a turn. I was forced to go further into the deep, dark bowels of the office and let me tell you, it was truly terrifying. I had a strong sense of foreboding, which it turns out was entirely justified.

Strangely enough, I was feeling groggy…wait, was there something in those doggie treats? What did I tell you…never, ever trust a human was my last thought before I drifted off. I remember dreaming about dog stuff. You know, treats, tummy rubs, and chew toys. I have no idea how long I was out but now that I was awake, something did not feel right…. my neck felt funny, my side hurt and I couldn’t move my head as much as usual.

I remember thinking that revenge was now on the agenda and I was not going to let my humans off the hook. I made them carry me out, whining as loudly as I could. Sadly, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as we headed for the door. There was a big black circle around my neck. Apparently the correct term is “donut.”

I’m not one to complain but since this ordeal, I have been subjected to a long, painful recovery exacerbated by a feeling of betrayal that may never subside. The good news is that I have been learning to live with disappointment and trying to focus on the positives in life thanks to my daily gratitude affirmations.

In conclusion, I would like to thank the staff at the vet clinic for their superb care, and all my friends for their get well cards, emails, kind thoughts and phone barks.

And just to be clear, although it will require a lot of self discipline on my part, I vow that I will never, ever, ever again get in the car……but wait…. if in a moment of weakness I do get in said car, I am going to start trembling and whining immediately, just in case we are headed for the Vets office. Past experience has taught me that it really upsets my humans and fosters intense guilt feelings on their part….not that I’m vindictive or anything 🙂

We plan to publish a new post every Monday, so stay tuned for our next one entitled “Voices In My Head.”