Never Ever Did I Think..

Although we are usually very active, Biscuit and I have lately become, well…. lazy. We don’t really do much except eat popcorn, and watch reruns of Law and Order, Law and Order Special Victims Unit and any other crime show that we can find. Fortunately though, we recently had an epiphany, came to our senses and decided that we needed a project. So, following a time honored tradition, we chose to do some Spring cleaning. Biscuit thought it might be a good time to shake off some cob webs, and because we are still under the thumb of COVID there isn’t much else to do anyway.

Little did we know what lay ahead. Never, ever did I think we would be so overwhelmed with the technological changes we were about to discover.

Our targeted start day arrived (much too soon for our liking) and we still weren’t sure where to begin. After a few cups of coffee and way too many doggie treats, we narrowed it down to a choice between the spare room and living room. We finally tossed a coin, and the dreaded spare room “won.” I don’t know about other people, but in our house, this is the room where things “go to die”after you have run out of places to put them. It’s here where you find your Grade 1 report card, your High School Diploma, useless gadgets that at the time you thought were a good idea and as we discovered, so much more.

Let’s Get To Work

So, with trembling hands and a pounding heart, we climbed the stairs, slowly turned the door knob and entered the twilight zone. Biscuit almost collapsed in terror, but I managed to talk her down. Initially she was overwhelmed and paralyzed with indecision and I have to admit that I too was fighting the impulse to just close the door and head back to the couch. Even though this was going to be a daunting task, we were determined to get ‘er done, so we took a deep breath, rolled up our sleeves, gave each other a high five and dove in.

Eventually we managed to make some progress and began to establish a rhythm. Things were going well, but a pattern was emerging. Biscuit was finding things that were foreign to her. “What is this? What does this do? and Why do we have this?” was becoming an annoying refrain. Who knew a little dog could ask so many questions? It was only when we found a camcorder at the back of a shelf, that a light bulb went on and I realized that Biscuit had never seen any of these things.

This only became more obvious as we worked our way through the room. We found more and more items that don’t exist any more (except in our spare room) or items that have changed into something totally different. When we unearthed some LPs (vinyl records) I was struck by how obsolete they were. Before she could ask any questions, I gave Biscuit a history lesson, describing how those same LPs had transformed into an 8 track tape, that turned into a cassette tape, that turned into a CD, that turned into downloading music onto your computer, and now you just download music onto your phone. Biscuit was stunned into silence.

But that wasn’t all. As we forged ahead, we discovered a Marvin the Martian push button telephone, a clock radio, a Sony Walkman, an old Microwave oven and a camcorder.

At that point it was all just a bit too much and Biscuit had to close her eyes for a moment, take some deep breaths and recoup. I had to admit that I was mentally and physically exhausted too, so we called it quits for the day…a new episode of Law and Order was just starting anyway.

Never Ever Did I Think….

Later that evening as we discussed our trip down memory lane over a glass of wine and a beer, I couldn’t escape the haunting realization that things had changed so much over the past twenty years. Never, ever did I think in my life time these changes would be possible. In fact, they were on my mind even as I drifted off to dreamland zzzzzzz

And those dreams took me back to a simpler time when:

• You couldn’t see the person you were phoning because computers, cell phones, Facetime, Whats App, Zoom and Skype didn’t exist. Now you have to worry about your hair, makeup and a neutral background before even considering an online appearance.
• Your pay cheques were literally cheques. Direct deposit hadn’t been invented. (FYI, I fought Direct Deposit to the bitter end. I wanted my hard copy thank you.)
• You eagerly awaited a card or letter that would take days to be delivered to your family mailbox. Now we email, or send a text and receive the message in real time, including that annoying junk mail and spam that take hours to delete.
• You watched corn slowly pop in an oiled pan. Now it just goes into the microwave, and within 30 seconds its ready. Its full of chemicals but hey, its instant gratification.
• You took your film to get developed and waited for a few days, in great anticipation, to get the pictures and the negatives back. Now you just take the picture with your phone and if you don’t like it you delete and take another one. (Big Sis is still trying to figure out how to take the perfect selfie.)
• You learned to type in typing class on a typewriter….sit up straight and don’t look at the keyboard! Now we have neck injuries from looking down at our phone and sore thumbs from constantly sending and replying to texts.
• Your Dad recorded your childhood concerts and birthdays on a big bulky camcorder, then inserted the cassette into the VCR to play it back. Our cell phones now instantly do the job of both and even the most trivial events are preserved for posterity.
• You read books made of paper, not words on a computer or phone screen (That is except for Middle Sis who refuses to make the leap into the 21st century.) 🙂

When I awoke refreshed and ready to tackle a brand new day, I described my dreams to Biscuit and she started laughing hysterically. She simply could not comprehend what I was talking about and I must confess that I too was still astounded at the magnitude and scope of the changes we have seen. In fact, Never, ever did I think they were possible. The scary part of all this, though, is that I barely scratched the surface and keep in mind these changes are more relevant to a certain older and wiser demographic. If you are older and wiser, you will likely be able to add to the list. Think about it tonight as you are drifting off to sleep zzzzzz

We plan on publishing a new post every Monday so stay tuned for our next one entitled “Bettybucks 2.0”